Weather- my feelings von July-chan (must...can't) ================================================================================ Sun- rain- ?! ------------- Well, I wish you a lot of fun. I'm sorry, for all mistakes I made, but I think you will be able to understand it. ^^ Weather- my feelings..... Sunshine. It is crawling through a little hole in my roll shutters, waking me up. Slowly I open my tired eyes. It is your birthday today. I can hardly believe, that a hot and strong character, like you, is a cancer. A gentle cancer. The birds are singing, the sun is shining. Everything seems to be perfect on your birthday...I will open my feelings to you today. So many times I have had the chance to tell you " I love you!",so many times, I was too shy ,too frightened...but today...after today I'm not hiding my thoughts any more. Like a machine I dress, brush my teeth, wash my short blond hair, my face. The cold water gets me awake. I didn't sleep a lot this night...I had to sleep... couldn't sleep...was so frightened, excited. I am walking through the loud streets of Osaka, followed by envious and admired looks, but there is no piece of pride inside my eyes to see for them. "Kai Hiwatari", that's what the silver letters on your door say. I ring, hoping Ray, Ty and Kenny haven't arrived yet. Just when I was looking up, your red eyes are meeting by blue ones. "Hello Max! You're very early. What's the reason?", you greet me and a warm smile whisks about your face. I never saw you smile before. A hundred butterflies begin to dance in my stomach. "No, it hasn't. I mean, no reason. Happy birthday Kai!" "Come in! Or shall I carry you!?" "Why are you in such a good mood?" "Dunno. It is my birthday!", you grin. I should tell you now...must speak ...can't speak... " Oh, Kai, I'm so sorry!", without my desire these words come out of my mouth...out of my heart... "What? Max, I don't understand.", your speaking so...full of honesty, so warm. You won't shout at me, will you? "I... I'm in love... with you...", silence... "You love me? DIRTY UGLY GAY! You are , you are...go away!!!", those words hurt. My heart breaks, into tousand pieces, like glass. I turn around, run outside. Rain. Lightnings, thunder. Left alone with my pain. You are cold. As cold as ice. I should have known it. I would like to hate you...Kai...Kai Hiwatari. But what do I do?! I love you. Love you, more than my mother , my father, my life. D'you know, what it's like to love somebody? I think you don't. Yeah, I am gay, not normal. I can't make you love me, I don't want you to love me, but your reaction your answer wasn't right. How could I be as sure as I was? I really felt you liked me. Like, that's enough. You didn't have to call me stupid names, Dirty...ugly...The rain falls down on my shoulders. I am completely wet. I feel cold. Suddenly I hear fast steps behind me, Your steps...What are you going to do? Hit me? Beat me up? Just do! I won't feel anything, only the pain in my heart. You've arrived behind me, gone down. But...What do you do? Take me in your arms, do you want to hurt me? Yes, says my mind. No, says my heart. I sit here, on the cool floor, my tears mixing up with the rain on my face. In your arms. "Max,",says your deep voice. " I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shouted at you. But I can never love you, you have to understand" "I do.", is my short, quiet answer. "We will always stay friends, won't we?", I feel you're smiling. You are so warm... "Yes. Best friends forever." You close your strong arms harder around my body and a little sunbeam breaks to the clouds... ~>>>>>>>THE END<<<<<<<~ I hope you liked it and you are going to write me a comment. Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)