chapter 6
a golden bell starts ringing, chapter 6
“Aaah, so that’s how it was” the reporter states a bit surprised but continues. “What happened next?”
“After Kame had left the manager ordered the other KAT-TUN members to Johnny’s office to inform them. They made them believe that it was my decision to take a leave. They knew of my affection for the English language, but were shocked about this sudden decision all the same. In the end most of them accepted it.
Koki was very angry at me though. I couldn’t understand it back then, but today I do. He was caring much for Kame and he could already see that it would affect him very much.
The next day the said press conference was held. I guess the shocked situation I found myself in captivated me all through it. Nakamaru and Taguchi were supporting me and they read some messages of the others to the audience. There was also a letter from Kame. Kame, who’d been so angry at me the day before. I couldn’t really understand what they were talking about, but in the end, it sounded very much like each of them.
And of course I had to lie to the press, too. Yes, it was my own decision. Yes, it's very nice of the jimusho to let me take a leave. And yes, ever since I visited once I loved Los Angeles, so this was probably the place to go to. I too made them believe that the decision was made a long time ago and that we’ve just waited for a suitable time to take the plan into action.
If it wouldn't have been for the cards that were prepared beforehand, I wouldn't have really known what to say to the cameras waiting for me.
The next two weeks were so busy I nearly forgot where left and right was. Full of appointments and meetings with public authorities in Japan and the US. Many things needed to be settled before I could leave for the US. And don't forget the photo shoots, the rehearsals, my day-time job so to speak.
Then at the beginning of November the time had come. I sat in a car with Johnny-san and my mom. They were escorting me to the airport. After the check-in I sat in the VIP lounge with them. Nobody said a word. It was almost as if you couldn't hear a single thing. Or it was just me concentrating a bit too much. The silence was a bit too scary for me.
After a while it was time for boarding. But before I could go on board I suddenly heard someone scream and turned around. It was as if I'd had waited for this voice for a long time already.
“JIN! PLEASE DON’T LEAVE!” Although I suspected to see him I was still surprised at Kame's appearance. I hadn’t talked to him since we had the fight in front of Johnny’s office about two weeks ago.
“Kamenashi, what are YOU doing here?” Johnny-san asked with an angry but surprised voice.
But Kame ignored Johnny-san and continued talking to me.
Kame must have been running all the way to the gate, he was so out of breath. “Please...! Don’t leave me...Jin...” I could hear and see that he was close to tears.
I walked in his direction but stopped 2 meters away from him.
Trying on my best and most confident smile I said looking into his eyes, “Kazu, I will come back, I promise.” To undermine my words I held up my pinky, like in the old times. Whether there was a reaction or not I wouldn’t know, I only looked into his eyes.
With his words Johnny-san broke our eye contact. “Akanishi, go NOW!” I couldn't do anything but obey. With a heavy heart I turned around and went to the gateway. At the final security check I tried a little embrace sign, so my mom would understand that she should take care of Kame now. I saw her nodding and walking over to him. The last thing I saw before walking over the boarding bridge was my mom holding Kame.
She told me later when I asked her what she had told him: 'Don’t worry Kazu-kun, he will come back to you for sure!'”
The reporter laughs. Actually I don't know what was so funny about this. I'm full of sorrow to have to tell her all of this. “You have a very young mother, don't you?”
I give her a soft smile that most probably doesn't reach my eyes. “Yes, and she is the best mom in the world.”
“So, what happened after you left for the US?” she asks again.
“Well… the loneliest months ever started for me.
The first few weeks in L.A. were pretty hard. Even when I love America and speaking English so much it was the environment that was so unfamiliar. Japan definitely has a different feel than the US, I don't know how to describe it otherwise.
Moreover, at home I had my family, friends, bars and clubs I patronized and now I had to find it all anew: new friends and new locations to have a good night after all the learning.
I was surprised that I made friends pretty fast. For the rest of November and first three weeks of December I spend time with getting paperwork done, clubbing and partying with my new-found friends and of course I also studied English.
When Christmas came nearer I started to get very lonely without Kame. Usually we would spent the time apprehending Christmas going to different restaurants, visiting each others families and stuff like that. But mainly we spent time with each other. I missed him more and more, so I tried to call him many times. He never picked up.
I wondered if he was mad at me for just boarding the plane after he came all the way to the airport to stop me from going. I even bothered Pi with it, all across the ocean, but he told me that Kame was probably just busy. That he was always busy since I left Japan. This made me worry. I knew Kame always liked working but he also had time for some other things in between.
Even though L.A. is so warm in December you could feel the Christmas atmosphere. The store windows were full of Christmas decoration, the radio stations played Christmas songs and in the neighbourhoods you could smell the home-made Christmas cookies. Houses decorated with bright lights, all blinking in a different rhythm.
Obviously I was getting into that atmosphere but it made me feel so lonely. At least the decoration reminded me very much of home. And the one waiting for me there.
The day before Christmas Eve, my friends drove home to their families since in the US Christmas is a holiday for the family. So in the evening, I found myself in my little apartment watching old American Christmas movies. I had ordered some food from a Japanese delivery service and bought a cake for keeping at least a teensy bit Japanese tradition to this holiday. The hours passed by as I decided to try calling Kame again. I just didn't know what I was supposed to do else.
There was only the phone service on the other end of the line. It told me in Japanese, “The owner of this number is temporarily unavailable, please call back later or leave a message after the beep.”
Beep.
So that meant I should leave a message. “Oh... Hey Kazu, it’s me! You’re probably busy but don’t work too much, ok? Anyways, I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas……and tell you that I miss you. Love ya.”
After leaving these words on his voice mail I returned to my old American Christmas movies and the cake which I still hadn’t dared to touch. After eating two or three slices I eventually fell asleep on the sofa.
The next morning – Christmas Eve – I was woken up by the door bell.
A quick look at the alarm clock showed me it was only 8 a.m. Wasn’t it a public holiday or something? I should still be asleep! Annoyed that I had to get up at all, I mumbled to myself. “Who the hell is waking me up at this time? Better be someone important..”
After stumbling through the apartment, I reached my door and opened it.
Seeing who was standing before me made me suddenly fully awake. I couldn’t quite grasp it.
“Kazu…W-what are you doing h-here?” It all came out stuttering. Maybe not so much awake then. I was so surprised and happy, so with a smile I asked him in.
He smiled, “I came here to spend Christmas with my boyfriend”.
Ah, that beautiful smile. “I thought you’re so busy lately? How could Johnny-san allow you to come here then?” I teased.
“He didn’t allow it! I took a few days off over Christmas and just flew here,” he chuckled.
I laughed. “That’s so not you, Kazu. What did you do with the real one?”
“You’re probably right but I just had to do it,” he also laughed.
“So? Why?” I asked teasingly.
“I wonder why…” he said as he came closer swung his arms around my neck and pulled me into a kiss. Finally I could feel these lips again. It had been over two months since I last tasted them. We still stood in the entryway and the door was a bit open, but I couldn’t care less.
In the end, Kame stayed two days. And in these two days I could finally forget the loneliness I felt since I had arrived in the US.
Upon his return to Japan he sent me a text message:
“Thank you for your voice mail, just listened to it. Will keep it until you’re back! Love ya, too ♥”
“Awww that was so cute of Kamenashi-kun,” the reporter says. “So you actually had a nice Christmas that year, right?”
The memory alone makes me smile. “Yes, one of the best I ever had. Just spending time with the person I love far away from the menacing big boss and the showbiz-paparazzi made these days great”.
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:D
