Tourniquet
Tourniquet
I tried to kill the pain
But only brought more
Since you're gone, I feel the pain. It ate its way into my soul. Killing me, making me scream, making me want to die. Why did you leave me? Here? With all them around me? All this hypocrites, pretending that you meant anything to them.
Since they knew about ... us they all left you and me. They did not want to be our friends anymore, said we are insane, unnatural .... repulsive. And now that you are away they all try not to be blamed for your death.
I lay dying
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
My artery is slowly spitting out the liquid of my life. It's dyeing the sheets of your bed. They're not white anymore. They're blood-red now, stained, like you were. And it's my fault that you aren't the innocent boy, who is worth sleeping in snow-white sheets, anymore. I stained you, like your sheets.
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost?
Too lost, to be saved? That is what I am. I'm the one, who tempted you. The one, who tempted the angelic, holy boy you were. I'm not worth being saved. No god could want the one, who deconsecrated his most beautiful angel. No god in this godforsaken world could want me.
Not even my parents wanted me, not even I, wanted to be me. I hated myself for loving you. For being loved by you in return. For destroying you with my love. The love you wanted me to show you, I wanted to show you and finally showed you. But this love is dirty. But we lived it up and became sinners.
My god my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My god my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
God, I know, you can hear me. But I'm sure, you don't want to. But I'm begging you to forgive me my sin. To let me into heaven. Where he might be waiting.
Do you remember me
Lost for so long
Does he remember me? Or has he forgot me as soon, as he left me? Has he forgot everything we did. Our mutual time. The moments we have shared. Is all that nothing to him now. Or does he want to be reunited with me, as I want it.
Will you be on the other side
Or will you forget me
Will your caressing arms catch up me, when I fall into death. Will you be there to lead me? Will you be there to soothe my pain. To console me. Lick my tears from my cheeks.
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost?
Again, this awful pain is running through my body. Did you feel this pain too? Why did you choose this way? Weren't you able to stand this pain anymore? Why didn't you tell me? Why did you leave me? Did you think that I would stay here, without you?
My god my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My god my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
Just a few minutes then I'll be with you. I'm feeling it. My eyelids are getting heavier. I'm so tired. Tired of life. The coldness of death is creeping into my limbs. And you're not here to warm me.
My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
I'm waiting for death. It's coming too slowly. My hand is too weak to grab the razorblade again and extend the wound. So I will slowly bleed to death.
Will I be denied
Christ
I'm sure you will deny me. Why shouldn't you? I'm a sinner and I will always stay a sinner. But, maybe this is my penitence and you forgive me.
I lift my hands. With my last power I'm clasping them. Whispering a short prayer. The first one in my life. I've never wanted anything and never thanked you for anything. But now I do. I thank you for the good times and I ask you not to let them end. Please, let me see my love, my fate, or just Harry again.
Tourniquet
My suicide
I feel death delivering me from my pain. Delivering me from my life. Delivering me from being Draco Malfoy. My fathers boy. Delivering me from being separated from you - Harry.
